Pee Wee's Pickled Egg Sticks

by Bradley Laird

When I was in forestry school, decades ago, I had a professor who used to invite me and my buddy to ferry him around while he drank and told stories. One of the things he would often mention is that he would have been a millionaire if only he had followed his dream to manufacture and market "Pee Wee's Pickled Egg Sticks". He had the idea that he could somehow make rectangular, stick-like versions of pickled eggs and they would fit in the jar better. He was a fair singer too. One night he had me and Goose cook sausages on the grill while he sang Hank Williams tunes. When he was tired of singing he showed us his revolver and told more tales of large snakes, broke-down trucks, and students he had twenty years ago. He was five foot-two of pure dynamite, let me tell you. To his credit, he never offered us anything stronger than sweet tea.

Even in my youthful idiocy I knew he was just using us as drivers to avoid the possility of getting arrested. We, however, thought it might help our grades to hang out with him. I am not sure that it did but I was always on the Dean's list. Anyway, I was thinking about "Pee Wee" as I gathered up the stuff I needed to whip up a couple of jars of pickled eggs. The normal round kind.

Too many eggs is a common problem

Back in my college days, I had never tried eating a pickled egg. I had seen them in a giant jar on the counter at country stores and out of the way bait stores but I had never eaten one myself. One day, while at the grocery store, I saw little jars of pickled eggs and I bought some. Pretty good I thought. A little hard and rubbery but not bad. (The store-bought eggs are not half as good as the home-made ones.)

There remained my opinion and knowledge of the subject for 25 years or more. However, once I got into keeping hens around I revisited the pickled egg idea. If you keep hens-- even just two or three-- you will from time to time open the fridge and see 6 or 7 dozen eggs in there! It happens more often when you have eight healthy hens like we do at the moment.

The crew eagerly awaiting their daily ramble

So, you have sold a few dozen here and there. And you keep giving eggs to the mailman and the neighbors. And you whip up two dozen eggs into egg salad every now and then. And then you blink and you are right back to a fridge full of eggs! This nice problem led me to think about pickled eggs.

Consulting what I consider to be one of the greatest books ever, and a close second to being able to call your farm-raised mom on the phone, I looked up pickled eggs in my Encylopedia of Country Living.

Of course, it is discussed in there. I followed the recipe as close as I could bear since I am more of a "dump a little of this in" and "shake a little of that in" kind of cook. What follows is how I make pickled eggs. More correctly, this is how I made pickled eggs this morning. It was 23 degrees this morning and too cold to go out and find something else to do.

Here is how I made this batch. Next time might be different.

First, I loaded up a pot full of my oldest eggs from the bottom of the bucket in the fridge where they build up. I put the eggs in first and then cover them with water since I never seem to be able to guess how much water to start with if I put the water in first.

The process begins...

Second, I hard boil the eggs. The method taught to me by my mother works good and I rarely have a peeling problem. (Part of that peeling success is to use your oldest eggs for boiling.) I bring the pot of eggs and water to a rolling boil, then pop a lid on, turn the fire off and wait 10 minutes. That's it.

Next, I put the pot of eggs in the sink and start running cold water over them. While they are beginning to cool I put another pot on the stove and cook up the pickling juice. Here is how I did that...

Presuming I am hoping to end up with a quart of eggs (9 or so) I measure about 1/3 of a quart Mason jar full of apple cider vinegar and dump that in the pot. Then I put about 1/3 of a quart of water in the pot too. Next comes the spices and salt. I just guesstimate a tablespoon of salt, then start tossing in things like peppercorns, caraway seed, dill, lemongrass and so forth. I might use red pepper, white pepper, garlic, dried onion... who knows. Each batch ends up a little different.

The alchemist's pot

I heat that mixture over the flame while I peel eggs. That takes about 15 minutes and the pot of juice is simmering when I am done peeling.

After peeling the eggs I cram as many as I can into a quart Mason jar. Any that peel poorly are eaten on the spot. Then, I kill the fire under the juice and warm the jar by sitting it in a bowl while running good and hot tap water around it. I do this to slowly pre-warm the glass a bit so it will not crack from the shock of the hot pickling juice being poured into the jar.

Ready and waiting

Swirl the pot of juice around while you pour so you get all that good stuff (peppercorns and so on) which have settled to the bottom. You know, that sentence reminds me that people sure write a lot of things which are pretty easy to figure out on your own. Ignore that first sentence of this paragraph and on your second batch you too will swirl the pot.

Fill the jar over the tops of the eggs and screw on a lid and band. Now, remember, that these eggs have not been pasturized or "canned" in the technical sense. Yes, everything was good and hot and that kills most germy critters, but you should store these in the fridge, not on the shelf.

Then, comes the hard part... waiting the minimum of 5 days for the eggs to transform into the best pickled eggs you ever ate. They do change over time gradually becoming more firm and more deeply flavorful. I tend to sample them every couple of days and by the time a month has gone by they are all gone and it is time to make some more. Those first 5 days are torture. (I write the date on the jar lid to remind me of when I can start chowing on them!) Of course you can eat them immediately and there is nothing wrong with that if you do, but it would be like drinking your wort from the fermenter on home-brewing night. You can drink it but you are a lot better off waiting the prescribed period so the magic can fully happen.

My mercenary pickled egg model earning 50 cents

Pickled eggs are not for everyone. Some folks like to color them with beet juice since they like them pink. Some folks hate them, but I think that's because they ate some of those rubbery, white vinegar objects sold in some stores. I have, more than once, just chunked peeled, boiled eggs into pickle jars after eating all of the dill pickles, reusing that "store bought pickle juice". They are good too.

Really, at the end of the day, if you don't like a good pickled egg then I say "good!" That just means there will be more for me! I wish ol' Pee Wee was still around. I'd carry him a jar. He liked them. At least I think he liked them. (I am doing my Hank Kimball imitation here.) Come to think of it I never saw him actually eat one. One day, sure as all hell, I am going to walk into some bait and tackle in South Georgia and see me a jar of "Pee Wee's Pickled Egg Sticks" sitting there on the shelf. Covered in dust. I'd buy 'em anyway. For my museum.

Brad

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